to live inside out

to live inside out


to live with an open heart
is to turn yourself inside out
and then stay that way

to live with an open heart
is to feel love for the things you care about so deeply
that you also feel the ache of losing them
before they are gone.

but to live is to lose
there’s no way around it
you cannot keep anything forever
not even your body

life and love carry inherent loss
and we have a choice

lean into it
and see what’s there

or turn away
armor up
form a shell around the soft flesh of your heart
so to mitigate the impending departures

the latter is what we tend to do

perhaps this dulls the intensity of being exposed
but it also dulls life
cuts you off from your magic

the raw, churning, tides of energy we call emotion
the tension between love and loss
that’s where creation happens
it’s where life lives

to protect oneself from life
is to not live at all
but to simply exist until you die

the irony
is that curling in on yourself
does not protect you from anything,
only keeps what you want most
at arms length

but guard yourself you will
it’s an inevitable beat in
the redemption arc of your life

but there will come a time
when turning yourself inside out
and staying that way
will become more important than mitigating pain.

a time when
living a full life will trump
surviving
a muted half-life.

a time when
unfurling into your creative power
will become more important than
being invulnerable.

there’s nothing you must do
to ready yourself for this time
life will do it for you

all you must do is listen
when you hear a tap, tap, tap on your inner door
you’ll know the time has come

you can answer the call, or not.
the choice is yours.
you are a free agent, forevermore.

the full power of life is already yours
can’t you feel it whoosing inside you?

will you let it out when the time comes?
will you dare turn yourself inside out
and then stay that way?


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chandra nicole.

chandra nicole.

Living on the edge of an enchanted forest, as a mistress of mysteries for women between worlds. For guidance, tap thrice on my door.
Bali