Shapeshifter Day 56 - those sticky days

Dec 07, 2019

Some days everything flows all magical like and things fall into place with ease... and other days feel pretty fucking sticky.
Today has been one of those sticky days for me.
Almost immediately after waking up this morning I felt a little annoyed and frustrated, for really no reason at all, and of course my day pretty much followed suit.
My writing hasn't been flowy, my technologies have been glitchy, the running water in my villa hasn't been working, my mind is wandering in ways that aren't necessarily helpful, and the heat index is literally like a bazillion degrees here in Bali, with no relief in sight.
I'm sharing this with you, not to be a total bummer, but to just let you know that not all days are epic winners in the eyes of preference, and you know what... it's fucking okay.
Earlier on in my "deliberate-reality-creation journey” I used to have a little freak out it when I would experience a day...

Shapeshifter Day 55 - overnight success

Dec 06, 2019
I've been thinking about the concept of 'Overnight Success' lately, mostly because I feel completely 1000% primed for an overnight success experience.
I am moments away from the actualization of my million-dollar enchanted enterprise, I can feel it in my bones.
Not only am I'm teetering on the cusp of that reality, but I'm hyper-aware of how fast it will most likely pop into the dreamscape of my physical world.
I was speaking my awareness out loud about my upcoming rapid success on the phone last night and had a giggle about how funny the concept of overnight success really is.
Most success that's rapid in outward appearance, has been years in the making.
Personally, mine has been in the works since I made the decision at 27 years old to sell my house, leave my husband and follow my heart, no matter where it took me.
At the time in which my overnight success will become apparent in the physical...

Shapeshifter Day 54 - a cure for existential dread

Dec 05, 2019
I've historically been a pretty hardcore existentialist.
Even though I wouldn't have defined myself as such, even back as far as my early teens, I was observing the world around me and thinking to myself "what-in-the-actual-fuck...
this shit doesn't make any sense"
I couldn't ever seem to find the meaning, the point, the purpose of any of it. I never seemed to be motivated by the things that the people around me deemed so important.
I, honestly, just wanted to be free.
That seemingly inherent impulse to seek freedom, led to me to the questioning of EVERYthing, in an attempt to find out what the actual meaning was.
I mean... there had to be a point, right?
I questioned life and all it's apparent meanings, and purposes, and points so much that finally, the bottom fell out on the whole damn thing.
I couldn't find a purpose near or far, that wasn't flimsy as fuck... and, it became very...

Shapeshifter Day 53 - the micro-decisions of you 

Dec 04, 2019


Who you think you are, your identity, the character you play... it's all just a choice.


Granted, your identity, for the most part, is crafted through a compiled series of teeeeeny tiny micro-choices you've made over time based on your experience.


So inconspicuous, these decisions, that you didn't even really know you were making them.


Then, If you're like most of us and were not 'wokeAF' for a good portion of your life, it becomes clear that most of who you think you is founded on micro-decisions you made as unconscious reactions for the purpose of moving away from something you didn't prefer, or towards something you did.


This is how you create such a super limited identity, based on the past, that often times does not favor the actualization of your current desires.


Recognizing the rigid personality concepts you've acquired can sometimes be challenging simply because they've become so much 'a part of who you are' and thusly so, proven...


Shapeshifter Day 52 - alter ego

Dec 03, 2019
I'm currently low key obsessed with Beyonce.
Mostly due to the fact that I recently watched 'Homecoming'; a documentary, filmed and produced by Queen B's very own Parkwood Entertainment Company, chronicling her iconic 2018 Coachella Performance, which she was the very first African American to headline (a fact that I found completely surprising, by the way)
It's a really great film mostly comprised of concert coverage, with some very artful behind the scene peeks, but the real genius of the film is the way that it captures the dynamic expression and raw power of Beyonce.
I remember the first time I watched it, probably about 6 months ago, I honestly found myself feeling completely intimidated by the way she owned her sexuality and effortlessly commanded her audience, leaving them mesmerized and drooling.
My intimidation clued me into the fact that she was owning something that I also wanted to own, but wasn't...

Shapeshifter Day 51 - the commander

Dec 02, 2019
Over the course of the last fifty days, since I started my public-facing Shapeshifter project, I've developed an intention to get my daily piece of writing, of 1000k words, complete and posted by noon.
It's 11:36 am and I've been doing everything this morning BUT write - including drink fuck tons of coffee, some scrolly polly of the socials, a complete overhaul of my Spotify playlist situation, and more time than I'd like to admit simply staring blankly at my computer. lol
I haven't even done my personal journaling for the day, which is usually the very first thing I do in the morning.
I'm sharing this not in judgment of myself, but with the liberating awareness that writing isn't something I think I have to do... but something I have set the intention to do because I've discovered that it's an extremely important outlet for my self-expression, for my self-awareness, for deeper understanding of my message, and ultimately,...

Shapeshifter Day 50 - enlightenment + endarkenment

Dec 01, 2019
The way I see it, there are two simple components to a truly fulfilling life experience, both of which are dynamic in their nuances and complex in their mastery.
But Chandra, that's paradoxical.
I know.
Welcome to the immortals' dream of mortality.
All truths are true, of which you are all of it.
You are a walking, talking, breathing contradiction...
you might as well get used to it.
and if you're resisting that paradox,
you're denying your fullest expression.
Which brings me back to the two 'simple' mastery components required for your most *full*filling life experience...
you are a god, and you are a human.
you are nothing you see, and you are everything you see.
you are the divine dreamer, and you are the dreamt.
you are the dark womb of creation, and you are the world of light.
perhaps you can see the two components revealing themselves here?
I used...

Shapeshifter Day 49 - devotion

Nov 30, 2019
I have an opinion I want to share with you about the reason why I think so many people do not actually live the life they really want.
I'd love your thoughts on this if you feel called to share.
In my opinion, there's one primary cornerstone that is the determining factor between those who dream awake the life they say they want... and those who just talk about it, but don't ever actualize it.
The cornerstone I speak of is this:
Devotion, to me, is about getting clear on what's most important to you, and then making THAT your highest priority, above all else.
When something in your life is of high priority, you say yes to it and no to everything that is not it; you organize your entire life in a way that fosters your focus on it, your belief in it, your commitment to it, and your experience of it.
Basically, you design your life in a way the supports the actualization of that aim.

Shapeshifter Day 48 - mayor of thanksgiving

Nov 29, 2019

The day of thanksgiving is over for me, here in Bali.
I didn't do anything special in celebration - it was just pretty much another ordinary day with my daughter in Bail.
Which is fine.
It's definitely not the first time, since I chose a nomadic lifestyle nearly seven years ago, that a holiday has slipped by without friends or family nearby to celebrate with.
However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a moment of sadness last night in which I yearned to laugh, to eat, to drink, to hug and to bask in the presence of people I care about most.
If ever I find myself in a state of yearning, which happens from time-to-time, the first order of business, is to just get okay as quickly as possible, with how I'm feeling.
No judgments, it is what it is...
for now.
Something I've learned over time is that there's a difference between allowing yourself to feel the feels and then...

Shapeshifter Day 47 -  dreamer & dreamt

Nov 28, 2019


i feel you dark womb, divine dreamer. 
i hear your desires,
they whisper at still of night.


i've not honored you fully 
i've tried to control you.
contain you.
wrong you.


all that ever won me,
was complete exhaustion;
utter heartache.


those days are dead.
my will is yours.


what a falsity
that I could ever override you. 

your supreme power,
your intention;

you were always winning.


whatever you desire,
i now desire too.
for I Am, You.


and, for the first time,


i see my divine lover
in all his glory;
light world of dreams


you too, i've attempted to
contain, wrong, control.


i see that you were only ever
serving my dark 
worshipping her


breathing in her mysterious scent,
exhaling with exactitude
her every want,
her every need,
her every requirement.


such devotion
magic man


what a falsity
that i could ever deny you.


your ancient willingness,
your steadfastness;