From a very young age I could not make sense of the way things were being done in the world around me; with all of the planning, and schooling, and rules, and collecting of things. I was never one of those girls who spent her childhood dreaming of her wedding and naming her future babies.
I never even thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I most certainly was not ever motivated by money, accolades, or prestigious titles.
I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.
I wanted freedom.
Because of this, I was stamped as rebellious, troubled, and irresponsible.
Then at the age of 20, I had a baby and everything changed.
By virtue of being a member of society, I’d been imprinted with ideas of what makes a good parent and what makes a bad parent. Because I was madly in love with this little girl, I tried vigorously to shake myself free of the labels from my youth, so as to be the best Mama possible.
I tried my damnedest to be a ‘stand-up...
When I was 31 years old, death became my savior.
I had reached a crux of my adult life which featured me, in the same red wine and tear-stained light blue yoga pants I'd been wearing for a week straight. Unable to make myself get off the couch and do this thing my midwestern upbringing was telling me to do...
You know, that thing with the job and the weekends and the marriage and the once-a-year vacations and the retirement.
All the people around me seemingly had found contentment in the simplicity of this lifestyle, but I knew in my heart there was something different for me.
I'd been knowing this for many years actually, but I was scared.
You see, back then I wasn't equipped with the trust I have now in my own creative capacities or in the perfection of the universe. I was so damn scared that it would backfire on me... that I'd be a fool to stray from what 'works'. I was scared that I would fail.
But do you know what I was even more scared of?
I was terrified of living a life that...
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