Today, I am feeling completion - in this relationship, in this house, on this island -
and I’m wondering if i’ll feel called to make this my home again at some point, or if hawaii was just the place i came for a few years to purge my system of the lack, struggle, and unworthiness I’d swallowed.
I’m not usually a fan of the word “heal” due to the Munchausen Syndrome of the ‘Spirituality Industry’ and I personally never felt the need to heal myself -- however in retrospect, as I’m getting set to leave this floating metropolis in the sea, I would say I’m experiencing a visceral feeling of having been healed during my time here.
In the beginning I came to share with some college students what I knew about overcoming anxiety and fear…
but the truth was my degree of commitment to my profession was at the level of hobby. I was incapable of showing up bigger than that because I was broken and broke. I was hiding under a...
Far before I ever wanted to become a “Life Coach” I just wanted to write and share myself and connect with people all over the world who were experiencing themselves as expanding beings giving birth to continuous ever evolving desires… and I did that for years, successfully not monetizing myself and going broke most of the time.
Fed up with my broke ass, I then decided I needed to grow up and “get real” serious about growing a business as a life coach, because somewhere I had decided that was the only way I could actually make a living helping people
What happened then, is that I monitored my voice and stifled my art.
I began secretly editing my sharing.
I started stealthily running everything I felt compelled to share through the filter of:
would this make me look like a someone who another someone would want to hire to help them with their life?
would this make me look like I have my act together, like I’m all wise and shit?
UGH. It makes me...
As I was waiting for my coffee to brew this morning, I found myself in a downward facing dog - a place I’ve been finding myself most mornings in the recent past.
I’ve never been a yoga person, but I’ve been trying out this whole allowing my body to move ME thing, and it often takes me there. As I was stretching I noticed that I was bending deeper and longer than the days previous -- and then I was struck with this weird desire to get reaaaaally flexible, and I was like okay but why would I want that?
And I was like, well chandra, don’t you realize how much freedom you’ve created in your life already?
You’ve freed yourself from the status quo, from emotional bondage, from insecurities upon insecurities, from poverty, from eating disorders and from alcohol addiction.
Currently, you’re working on financial freedom & messaging freedom… why not freedom of body movement too?
It then occurred to me that since I’ve already...
Okay, so you know how I'm aways ranting everyday in that inspirational, motivational, what-the-even-fuck sort of way...
well, most of these pep talks are modified versions of what I'm writing to my own damn self in my journal every day.
I SAID IT.
The words that I share with you, are the very words I use to talk myself over ledges - to activate my own badassery - to remember the truth of what I actually AM.
Today, I'm feeling inspired to not even modify what I've written and just copy and paste my own journal rant to myself, and share it with you.
You guys --
WHAT I SHARE WITH YOU IS MY PROCESS.
Every. Damn. Day.
So today, I'm talking myself over the ledge of investing 11k for six weeks of empire building coaching. It is a definite FUCK YES for me... but what happens after the fuck yes (which always means FOR SURE expansion) is that our little self tries to talk us back into safety -- it wants us to stay the version of ourselves that we already understand and know our way...
Stop waiting around for someone to tell you you're worthy of your dreams... appoint YO' SELF as worthy, and watch the magic happen.
God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. If you're feeling called to something (aka have the desire).. then you ARE worthy of it. Show the fuck up, and you WILL be granted all that you require.
NO LIMITS, JUST LOVE ~ Chandra Nicole
We tend to think things need to happen in a sequential & logical order.
SO FUCKING LAME.
It’s our human training
which we must actively reprogram
Because it’s utter bullshit.
If everything had to happen logically and sequentially,
Where would the magic be?
How would miracles fit into the equation?
Who says that just because you’ve “figured out” how to line up with a few grand a week,
that you can’t then line up with 30k the very next week?
Who says that just because your pants feel tight today,
they can’t be loose tomorrow?
Who says that your life can’t look totally different today,
than it did yesterday?
Who the hell gets to decide how things happen for you?
There’s no logical order that anything needs to happen in,
outside of some arbitrary rules you’ve bought into.
YOU CAN BREAK YOUR OWN DAMN RULES.
If you do in fact want FAST change
You’ve got to the inner landscaping to make that possible.
It’s paralyzing the mobile
It’s rendering the capable weak & powerless
It’s killing dreams
You may have caught this virus IF you’re experiencing:
an outbreak of doubt
a fever of fear
an eruption of stagnation
What is the horrifying malady?
(you may be asking)
unwillingness to choose
hesitation on the desire-front
oscillation between this or that
How does this kill dreams & what makes you susceptible to this dreaded disease?
(you might be wondering)
Indecision robs you of your creative UMPH
Because you live in a free will universe
No thing will ever be forced upon you, outside of your choosing.
When you’re unwilling to DECIDE
You got nuttin’
dead in the water
You expose yourself to an infection of indecision when:
you toy around with unworthiness
you copulate with limitation
you dance with disbelief
Get real with your damn self.
When you’re not engaging in that risky...
There’s something that whispers to you in the night
Something that summons you towards it
Something that almost annoys you because it won’t go away.
How do I know that something is there?
Because it’s there for a of us.
You… yes YOU… have a divine calling.
And I’m here to tell you that
YOU HAVE TO DO IT
I mean you don’t have to do it,
But if you don’t do it you’re guaranteeing yourself a lackluster life seasoned with melancholy, discontent, and probably addiction of some sort.
So tell me.
What do you choose?
I promise it’s not actually as scary or difficult as you’re making it out to be.
In fact, what I can guarantee
is that if you were to say yes to whatever it is that calls to you
Your life will be different.
But the sun will shine more brightly than ever before
And for your courage you’ll be rewarded
With fulfillment, great joys, treasures and loves.
Lackluster living, melancholy, discontent,...
The successful actualization of the reality you’re really desiring is dependent only on YOU assuming the vibration of IT
Whatever IT is.
You don’t get what you want,
You get what you ARE.
I say it all the time
But it bears repeating
Because it’s really the only thing you need to know.
Your vibe is your prayer to the universe for more of that,
Whatever that may be.
YOU ALWAYS GET MORE OF WHAT YOU ARE.
What you are is totally malleable,
by the way.
You are not so rigid of a personality as you may think
Your self concept is totally fabricated
An identity you’ve secretly weaved together by virtue of the past
An identity whose only glue is memories
Here’s a little BIG new’s flash that probably no one ever told you:
YOU GET TO DECIDE WHO & WHAT YOU ARE
So, who are you?
Are you the gal that always gets what she wants?
Are you the guy who never settles for less?
Are you the one who’s always successful, no...
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