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The Last Resort

Jan 11, 2022

The past few years have been very "interesting" for me, to say the least.


Everything I thought I was, all the ideas I had about how the world works, and basically everything else I depended on to orient myself and create my life, as well as support others, either simply stopped working or collapsed beneath me entirely.

I have experienced a full spectrum of persistent and heartwrenching emotions over this seemingly widespread loss, that managed to touch every single area of my life.

As someone who has felt deeply called to a career in mentoring others, you can imagine this has been a very confusing time for me in the realm of livelihood. There have been many times when I thought about giving up... but the truth is, the call to mentorship is a call I simply cannot deny.

That being said, all I've experienced has served to lead me to what I now call "the Last Resort"

For me, the Last Resort is the place in time and space in which my go-to options have been so thoroughly exhausted that I finally have no other actual option but to give up and give in to something greater than I perceive myself to be

At the last resort, my one true desire -- the desire that's been quietly whispering to my heart all along -- becomes all that matters anymore.

This desire is an ancient tale of magic that's been told since the beginning of time; tantalizing and intriguing, yet terrifyingly beyond what feels real...

and yet, at the last resort, my "reality" seems inconsequential in the face of what I've always desired -- to dwell permanently in the land of the miraculous; unhooked from all illusions of space and time, at home

When I'm honest with myself, I know this was the plan all along.

It's obvious why I never once felt like I belonged in the world I bore witness to. It's clear why all I had attempted to prop myself upon in an attempt to make it bearable, had to fail me eventually.

I was never meant to belong in an illusory world of form, for it is not my home. My full-time home is in the idea of god, with which I am, and have always been, one.

I was never supposed to make this dream of form real, but become lucid within it.

It's my destiny, in this lifetime, to play freely, joyfully, abundantly in this realm of makebelieve -- metaphorically multiplying loaves & fishes, turning water into wine, and raising the dead, in service of the miraculous.

This is how it was always meant to be for me...

and now I know, this is how it was always meant to be for those who are called to come work with me.

Chandra Nicole


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