Tandem Souls

Jun 02, 2020

From a very young age I could not make sense of the way things were being done in the world around me; with all of the planning, and schooling, and rules, and collecting of things. I was never one of those girls who spent her childhood dreaming of her wedding and naming her future babies.

I never even thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I most certainly was not ever motivated by money, accolades, or prestigious titles.

I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

I wanted freedom.

Because of this, I was stamped as rebellious, troubled, and irresponsible.

Then at the age of 20, I had a baby and everything changed.

By virtue of being a member of society, I’d been imprinted with ideas of what makes a good parent and what makes a bad parent. Because I was madly in love with this little girl, I tried vigorously to shake myself free of the labels from my youth, so as to be the best Mama possible.

I tried my damnedest to be a ‘stand-up citizen’... for my daughter.

I got to work building a successful career, I bought my ‘white-picket fenced’ country house and married a doting man.

I’d done everything that was required of me and yet midway through my twenties, I awoke sad and unfulfilled. I had a calling in my heart to leave and pioneer a trail that was unique unto me, but my conditioning told me it’d be selfish; that’s not what a good mother does.

I cried and pleaded to a God I didn’t even think I believed in, for answers to this unbearable riddle: stay and sacrifice myself for the sake of my child… or follow my heart.

The reply to my query was this:

Your most important job as a mother is to encourage your daughter to listen to and trust her inner guidance and be true to her authentic self.

At that moment I knew I could not preach without doing, and that the only way I could help my daughter follow her heart, was to follow mine.

What a journey it’s been as we've traveled in tandem this path of following our hearts, and oh what stories we have to tell...