Walls of Conclusions

Mar 05, 2021
This message was delivered to me in the darkness of the night a decade ago.
After ages of journeying, the light of day did indeed dawn and the prophecy is being fulfilled ❤ #myheart

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I do my best to cozy down
into a ‘normal’ life situation...
Ya know, with love
and cookies,
and consistent bedtimes.

Date nights and planning.
Steady jobs with paychecks
and insurance and stuff.
Walking paths that have been well-tread.

That’s what we do here you know.

The walls of conclusion start small,
building so slowly I hardly notice
until one day I look up
and I can’t see over the top anymore.
This freaks me out a little.
But on paper it all looks so perfect,
so I continue on.

Steady as she goes.

Cutting off every ounce of awareness
to my internal knowing.
Sinking ever further
into unidentified despair
until finally I forcefully shake free,
forever changing the shaken.

And find myself right back where I started once...
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Obligations, Shoulds & Supposed-Tos

Feb 08, 2021

How much of your life is built upon obligations, shoulds, and supposed-tos?


How much of your precious energy, focus, attention, time, and money even, are invested into things you think you have to do to be a good person, do the right thing, or be responsible?


I can tell you I did this in my early 20’s - I created a life based around what I thought a good mother does, and I woke up in my mid-20’s wondering “who the fucks life is this, because it’s certainly is not mine” lol


Do you know the feeling?


It's so common of an experience, there’s even a term for it - Midlife or quarter-life crisis.


You can manifest a very fabulous looking life on these premises, and still, deep dissatisfaction is the only inevitable outcome of traveling a path based on other people’s ideas of ‘what is a good, responsible, noteworthy existence’.


Deep down you know what your heart truly desires, and the truth is it probably doesn’t look like what anyone...

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Quicksand, Caps & Inconsistencies

Feb 07, 2021

Designing, creating, and bringing to fruition an authentic life you truly love on every level is, first and foremost, about radical self-trust.

If you don’t love, respect, and trust yourself unconditionally, you will never allow yourself to honor your heart's desires, you certainly will never allow yourself to act on them.

You will give away your creative power around every corner, and there will be a cap, forevermore, on the goodness you will allow yourself to experience in your life.

If, however, you lay a rock-solid foundation of self-love & self-trust you will notice your standards naturally rising and your tolerance for anything that does not match your true heart's desires, lowering.

You begin reclaiming and reallocating your creative power.

Your true heart’s desires begin reigning supreme, above all else.

When you attempt to deliberately create your reality but skip laying these foundations, your world becomes like quicksand, and the bottom either falls out from...

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No Limits. Just Love.

Jan 01, 2021

It's the first morning of the New Years here in Bali, and as I sit here reflecting upon the fresh energy of 2021, one thing is clearer than day to me;

I can have anything I want.
You can have anything you want.
We call all have anything we want.

I say this not because the past year was the easiest year for me (or for any of us), in fact, it was really fucking challenging in a whole lot of ways... but it is precisely these challenges that enabled me to now understand so clearly what is available to us all.

I am stronger now than I ever knew possible because I have been weak.
I am more fearless now than ever before because I have been afraid.
I am deeply wise now because I have been so damn foolish.

For the first time in my life, I love that I have been all these things... and because of that, I can see so clearly that love is the way.

... and, I understand more than ever what love actually is and is not.

Love is not an airy-fairy thing - it's fierce in its acceptance of all things...

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Motivational Speaker by Day, Slutty Lounge Singer by Night

Dec 22, 2020

When I was a teenager I used to joke around with my friends that when I grew up I wanted to be a motivational speaker by day and a slutty lounger singer by night. 

I said it in jest, yet, there was a certain sort of truth in it I didn’t realize at the time.

The lounger singer bit was obvious, seeing as how singing was my life up until I began rebelling against my very self and all the things I loved for the sake of ‘freedom’. The pursuit of freedom became my one and only love, at the expense of everything else… but, that’s another story for another time. 

The slutty singer vision I held had nothing to do with promiscuity per-say, and everything to do with slithering around on top of a baby grand, making love to my microphone in a slinky, sequin laden dress with a plunging neckline. 

Why I thought I might be a motivational speaker is quite a headscratcher though, as I’m certain nothing I did in high-school was even remotely...

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It's Never Too Late to Live Happily Ever After...

Dec 13, 2020

So many spiritual, self-aware women over the years have expressed to me some variation of; It’s too late for me. I’ve wasted so much time. I should have this figured out by now.

Which then quickly leads to; What the hell am I doing with my life, and how do I turn this all-around quickly?

I understand it completely as an existential crisis of which I, personally, have had many.

Traditionally, we may have referred to this experience as a mid-life crisis… but you might be surprised to know that these women who’ve come to me have ranged greatly in age.

It’s become clear that in these modern times, especially for those of us on a spiritual path, we have our existential crisis’ earlier and more often.

I certainly didn’t just save my mid-life crisis for mid-life… I had one in my mid-twenties, one in my early thirties, and then again at the start of my forties.

With each “crisis” I experienced, I was faced with my limited ideas about...

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What My Birthday Scooter Accident Showed me

Oct 17, 2020

This past week I had a birthday (42nd, if your inquiring mind wants to know )

I had a whole day of activities lined up in celebration of my self, but my festivities were cut short when at 10:30 am, on my way to the spa, I got into a scooter accident.

Instead of the revelry I had intended, I wound up at the hospital for Xrays and stitches and I spent the day in a heap of physical pain.

At first, I was like, what-in-the-actual-fuck! It's my birthday man, why today of all days?! Lol

However, I have come to be a firm believer that things don't "just happen" to me.

As challenging as it may be to accept sometimes, I know there is always, always, always a deeper purpose for everything that occurs in my life which is serving my highest desires, and working to activate my greatest potential.

When I am able to suspend my judgments of what is occurring, the wisdom always reveals itself.

There are many things that this somewhat dramatic birthday helped me to become aware of...

One is just how...

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Love Yourself Wealthy

Oct 15, 2020

If you make money the source of your value, your worthiness, your wealth... you’re in for a very bumpy, rollercoaster of a financial ride.

(I know this cuz I’ve done it)

The thing is, deep down you’ve always known that someday you would be rich, and maybe you’ve even known that fucktons of money is *meant* to be yours.

And the truth is, YES! you get to be wildly wealthy; it is your divine birthright...

but know this:
you’re just as worthy & valuable now as you will be when you have the millions and in fact, if you don’t feel worthy before the money, no amount of cash in the bank will ever fill the gaping hole in your heart where the value of your own self-love should be.

I know many people with lots of money, who are miserable... perhaps you’re one of them?

If you want to be truly, sustainably rich, you must Love Yourself Wealthy.

Be rich in person first, fill yourself up on your own intrinsic, unconditional value... and then eventually, it will...

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A Perfect Fit

Jul 14, 2020

Never settle for something that is not a perfect fit.

This has been a big, and hard-learned lesson for me.

There have been so many things over the years that have looked perfect on paper, and made complete sense to my logical mind and my heart, even...

yet, whenever I dove deeper into them, they were at total odds with my intuition.

Something just didn’t quite fit right, and I could feel it, even if I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was.

Kind of like when you’re doing a puzzle, and a piece looks like it should totally fit but at a closer glance you realize that in order to make it do so, you have to jam it into place, and even then, it’s still clearly off, even if only by a fraction.

That misplaced piece throws the whole rest of your puzzle and actually makes it impossible to finish.

It’s the same with putting together the components of your life.

I personally have historically (and predominantly) done this in both business & romance.

I have loved...

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The Whole Point

Jul 08, 2020

I just spent the past three days having the most epic celebration for my daughter, McKenzie’s, 21st birthday... 

including all-you-can eat sushi on a rooftop overlooking Seminyak here in Bali, a spa day with Facials and sauna, a decadent brunch & beach sesh, oceanside Sangrias at a vibey club, and pizza at our favorite Italian spot in Canggu.

My belly & heart are full.

I’m so grateful that I have all the time in the world to spend with the people I love, enjoying the worldly pleasures that make life so worthwhile...

That’s kind of the whole point, right?

I feel extra grateful because not all too long ago, I was really struggling to find the point of it all and I was feeling depressed and unexcited about living.

Now, I’m finally doing what I’m meant to be doing in business, I’m enjoying the fuck out of myself, and I couldn’t be more excited about life.

I do not believe that life is about just getting by. I do not believe...

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